sorry yall

im doing it again. reinventing myself in the blogging world one last time.
sooooo i made a new blog. on wordpress. gasp!
i know.
head over here: http://tobefreeasaweed.wordpress.com/  if you like to take a peeksy.

"Dollface"

I really love illustration. 

I think what I like most about illustration is that it isn't life-like.

Things are a bit off. Perhaps a bit more exaggerated and bit less in touch with reality.

I love that you dont have to follow any type of rules, or worry about proportions (well,sometimes..), or be handicapped by only using certian colors because "that's how they look in real life".

I want to draw purple elephants, birds who wear shoes, trees with no leaves, and girls who have doll faces.

          Because that's what I like. And I think that's where my strengths are. 

I've spent months feeling very inadequate and talent-less because I was spending most of my time trying to draw in a style that was quite popular, and to be quite honest, I hated it!

I put little effort in and was utterly lazy with detail, which in turn, led to my demise in the whole

"realism" drawing world. 

But I'm happy to say I've finally found joy in drawing again because I began to remember 

that illustrations are what started my love for art in the first place.

Like I mentioned before, I have a HUGE thing for drawing girls with doll faces. You know? That whole vacant-expression, doe-eyed, Zooey Deschanel-doll-face-look?

I think it stems from staring at fashion illustrations for hours...

Anyways..Back to the point!

I'm going to start a collection of illustrations called "Doll Face"

and every week I will try and post at least 1 new girl (much more detailed than the one up top) as a way to 

keep me deep in the creative process. 

Happy Thursday!

Confessions, confessions.

Well, I'm waiting for the clogged tub to drain so I can take a shower. 

I'm going on the 32nd minute of waiting.

Yes, it's apparently very clogged.

I must confess, I did not take a shower yesterday.

 (Gross)

Yes, I am. 

I must also confess that I actually LOVED running today.

Usually, I loathe it. 

And I loathe the stickyness of sweat after it dries.

So...I really need that shower. 

And while we are on the subject of confessing things...

I love salsa in an extremely gluttonous way. And if we were eating chips and salsa together and you looked down to tie your shoe, i would probably drink it while you weren't looking. 

Because I love it that much.

I'm also a safety freak.

And a germ freak.

And an intense hypochondriac.

But don't worry, if you meet me..I am mostly normal.

I also must confess that today I put no vanilla in this ladies 1/2 caff, nonfat, no foam, 160 degree, vanilla latte, because she is a rude gargoyle lady, and her order is ridiculous. Not to mention she comes into my work with baby size work-out clothes and her mountainous boobs pushed practically up to heaven, and well, I just think she needs a turtle neck and talking to...but all I can do is control her beverage quality. And I'm sorry to say, I'm not sorry I did it. 

 I confess I don't paint my nails as often as I'd like.

And I watch reality tv shows more than I'd like.

I have an intense love for long hair.

And lace.

 And clothes.

And make up.

And undies.

Well, safe to say....I'm a girl.

But ANYWAAAYYY

that's enough outta me.

Plus it's finally time for me to take a shower.

Hallelujah!!!!

happy saturday y'all.

Obsessed.

So, I'm totally and completely in love with my new video camera app.

I stumbled across it yesterday morning and the infatuation/obsession has only increased since.

Yesterday was my first day of actually feeling alive  and well after I finally got rid of my nasty sinus infection.

Luckily it just so happened to be my day off as well so, naturally, I just HAD to put my new app to the test.

Untitled from nicole lenane on Vimeo.

Buns and seasons and everything in between.

 

Today marks the third day of being sick with huge case of a head/throat/chest cold.

Trying to be a grown up lady has enough  challenges of it's own, but trying to be a sick grown up lady is like hitting an immediate wall of defeat. With mom and dad's house being a thousand or so miles away there are few places to go for refuge and few people you actually feel comfortable asking to take care of you when 

you are just too yucky to get up and take care of yourself. Thank goodness for sisters and boyfriends. I would still be that small, pathetic pile of germ-y mush if it wasn't for them.

I spent my entire day wrapped up in blankets in a coma-like state, and I must say it felt wonderful to just be still. I literally only did 3 things today that required movement. I put my hair into my beloved "pineapple bun" (as my mom used to call it), made some tea, and watered my flowers. Somehow during my day of intense activities and sleeping, sleeping, and sleeping some more I found myself reading out of Ecclesiastes.

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

 ¹ There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 ² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace. 

This passage got me thinking about what's going on in my life right now and the season I am in. 

I feel like this season would be most easily understood as my season of gray.

Gray because I feel a bit foggy and uncertain where my life is headed.

Gray because I feel like, for some reason, this is my time to just exist and not to do.

I feel like there was a lot of tearing down in most parts of my previous, familiar life. Perhaps  it was in order to make space for all that is to be rebuilt in the season ahead.

And I'm okay with that. I recognize that there were some things inside of me that needed to be weeded out instead of watered.I recognize that some comforts were taken away in order to create space for some much needed growth. But what I'm not okay with, is the space in between. The empty inside, waiting to be filled again. I'm waiting for all the lose ends of my life to finally come together, but I feel like I'm still knee-deep in the gray, no sense of direction in sight, and still no place to drop my anchor. 

Sometimes it's just exhausting when you feel like you say your prayers only for them to hit the ceiling and fall back on your face. But that is just a feeling, and not reality. God hears and cares and sees and feels. And no ceiling can block what you bring to God. I guess I wrote this post as a reminder to you and to me, to have faith in his timing, believing that there is a time to tear down and  a time to rebuild. And the rebuilding will happen, even if you're still  knee-deep in gray.

Happy Valentines Day!

Good morning, and happiest of valentines to you all!

I must admit I got a little carried away this year, especially when it came to wrapping 

of my valentines presents. The man wrapping paper went from manly to girly in liiiiikkkeee 2.5 seconds.

Poor Guy..:)

 

I really like holidays because holidays mean CARDS. 

And boy do I love to make cards. 

It's a great chance to be creative and I feel like it puts a little more meaning behind the card

I'm giving, not to stay store bought cards aren't equally thoughtful!

It is also actually relativity cheap for those of you like me who are 

desperately trying to save a buck or two.  

In other news:

I've been pretty obsessed with drawing deer lately. 

So as you can imagine that ended up being the theme of the Valentine I will be giving my valentine!

  I have a pretty fun day planned for us both, though unfortunately we are sick, and my voice is literally rancid...so here's hoping our illnesses do not prevent us from celebrating today.

But no matter what happens we will get to be together and that's good enough for me!

Whether your valentine is your man or your mother, I hope you all find a way to spread the love today because

thats what this whole day is really about right?!

Right!

Don't Give Up.

I feel like I haven't touched my blog in FOREVER. 

Apologies 3, perhaps 4, loyal readers...I feel like i have had such a busy couple of weeks.

The good news is i have been creating a buttload of things and can't wait to share all

the (hopefully) lovely things i have made!

Stay tuned for that in the next couple of days!

Okay moving on...

I came across some encouragement through a blog by a guy named Jon Bloom. The post was entitled 

"Don't Give Up" and I want to share some of what he had written in hopes that it encourages you as much as it encouraged me. 

"Don’t give up when you feel that deep soul weariness from long battles with persistent weaknesses.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me (2 Corinthians 12:8–9).

Don’t give up when your long prayed-for prayers have not yet been answered.

And he told them [the parable of the persistent widow] to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart (Luke 18:1).

Don’t give up when the devil’s fiery darts of doubt land and make you reel.

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day…in all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one (Ephesians 6:13,16).

Do not give up when the fragmenting effect of multiple pressures seems relentless.

But as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger . . . (2 Corinthians 6:4–5).

Do not give up when the field the Lord has assigned you to is hard and the harvest does not look promising:

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)

Do not give up when you labor in obscurity and you wonder how much it even matters.

Your Father who sees in secret will reward you (Matthew 6:4).

Do not give up when your reputation is damaged because you are trying to be faithful to Jesus.

Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account (Matthew 5:11).

Do not give up when waiting on God seems endless.

Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:30–31)

Don’t give up when you have failed in sin. Don’t wallow. Repent (again), get your eyes off yourself and back on Jesus, get up and get back in the fight.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9); if we are faithless, he remains faithful — for he cannot deny himself (2 Timothy 2:13)."

If you'd like to read the entire post you can find it here: http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/dont-give-up

Don't you dare give up.